By Jim DeGolyer
(from the GO Report [Gospel Outreach, Box 1022, Eureka, CA 95502, (707) 445-2135] Jim DeGolyer oversees the Verbo Church in Quito, Ecuador, which has recently grown to over 3000.)
When a non-Christian first attends a church he is usually uncomfortable. He is among people that he doesn’t know, with customs and attitudes toward life that he finds somewhat strange. A new person’s discomfort is especially heightened if the people of the church are not accustomed to welcoming new people with love and acceptance. The beginning of evangelizing is often the personal contact of a friend or a relative. But its continuation involves the new person becoming a part of the fellowship. The church must be a place where the new person feels at home and accepted.
How do you tell if a church is open or closed, especially toward new members? One warning signal is the length of time the church has been in existence. The older the group, the easier it is to become closed. As people develop closer relationships within the group, they lose the desire to get to know new people. They find satisfaction in their existing relationships. While they don’t outright reject a new person, they are so happy in their current friendships that they don’t realize that the new person is there.
As a result, the visiting new person finds himself alone in a very happy group. Few new people will be interested in continuing to come to a closed group. This is fatal for the growth of a church. It is very common for all of us to become bottled up in our own interests. To really walk in the love of Jesus, we have to learn not just to follow what comes easiest for us. We need to make the decision to do the Lord’s will in each situation. This requires sensitivity to the needs of others, especially in the group setting. It is especially important to love and befriend people we are not naturally attracted to or who are just different from us.
Some people have customs we don’t like, or their appearance is repulsive. They might come to a home group with five unmanageable children. Many Christians wish that the people who come to their church would arrive with clean and ordered lives. It would be like a fisherman expecting the fish that he is catching to be cleaned, prepared, and ready to be cooked.
We are called to love and extend ourselves to those who are difficult to love, to bear with them, and to help them enter the kingdom of heaven, in the same way we would help someone we naturally liked. By learning to be more conscious of the needs of every person in the church, we can discover many ways to help them to feel at home. Eventually, with our help, they will make the transition from being visitors to becoming family.
For example, in a home group, helping a new person during worship by finding him a song book and showing him the song that is being sung will make him feel welcome. Discuss with your church or home group how each one felt when they first attended a church. Did they feel well received? What problems were there? What made them want to become a part of the group? How could we change so that all new people feel welcome and want to stay?
Studies show that friendship between Christians and non-Christians is a very important element in evangelism. One study showed that of the people involved in the church, 70-80% were invited by friends or relatives! The relationships we have with relatives, neighbors, friends and people on the job–and especially with the new people who come to our churches or home groups–are bridges that help these people to take the step of entering into a relationship with Jesus and His family.
It is important that Christians develop and maintain good relationships with people who do not know Jesus. And nothing could be more important than loving and befriending the stranger who walks into our midst. They came in looking for something. And we know the One they need.
